New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
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