she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
