I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
