If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
How external is "for external use only"?
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
