Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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