he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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