worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Randomize
