weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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