Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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