it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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