last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
