I'm going to jail i love you
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Im part way to drunk.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Randomize
