it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Alive.
So much puke
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
try to milk me bitch
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
