and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
