This is not my ceiling
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Just pee around me
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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