Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
do herpes really smell.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
