I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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