As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
