yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
