she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Randomize
