The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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