How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
