If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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