My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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