she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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