I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize