smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
