U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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