so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
