Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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