Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
