I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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