Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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