if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
