I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Randomize
