How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
