call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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