hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
