It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
