accomplished twins. life is a go
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Randomize
