Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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