then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize