so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
