Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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