i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
