Your tits are I can't wait for
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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