She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
In America we eat man semen.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize
