Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
me + whiskey = a bad person
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
