I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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