Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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