She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
someone get that fucking seahorse.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Randomize
