butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
You dont lie about slip and slides
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
