No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
