I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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