I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
