you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
