I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
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