OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
