David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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