We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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