I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I came so hard my ears popped.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
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