i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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