Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
