Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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